Contrary to Butch’s belief, it was not the fall that kills you. Abe’s chokeslam, as devastating a finisher as it was, did not kill Jacob. Even the Undertaker needed to follow a chokeslam with a tombstone piledriver before pinning his opponents and Abe was no exception to the laws of gravity. Simply put, a chokeslam looks cool but it’s not deadly — a jackknife power bomb, now that’s deadly.
When you dive into water or ride a bike into water for that matter, you’re under control. Your direction underwater is controlled. On the other hand, when you are choke slammed 100 feet off a cliff into a quarry, you tend to have less control of your underwater trajectory.
Jacob Rose’s body awkwardly hit the water. He was not a trained professional wrestler after all, though most teenagers thought they were in the late 90s. He wasn’t and he was temporarily knocked unconscious when he hit the water. his body plunged to the bottom where his XXL Taco Bell button up got tangled with a rusted bike that had no business being at the bottom of the quarry. Jacob Rose has no business being at the bottom of the quarry.
When he came too, he desperately tried to free himself, but individuals with shallow gene pools in shallow quarries are not the most dexterous. Jacob had always struggled with buttons. Children struggle with buttons and Jacob had the intellectual capacity of a child, but he was smart enough to think that a knife would be good right now, but not to cut his shirt off, he was thinking about stabbing Abe. There were a lot of knives at the combination KFC-Taco Bell.
Precious moments were being wasted fantasizing about murdering Abe. A childhood was wasted inflicting violence and torturing neighborhood kids. Jacob Rose died how he lived, thinking about hurting people.
No one ever dragged the lake and the cost to hire a diver to exhume the body was more than the local police department was willing to commit. There was the thought of a 3-on-3 basketball tournament fundraiser to pay for a diver, but it never materialized. There were plastic jars at the local bank, but there were more sucker wrappers than coins at the bottom of the jars. Jacob’s family didn’t seem to care or maybe getting a body from the bottom of the quarry was beyond their intellectual capacity. Several years later a couple kids tried to get the body out, as the result of a double-dog dare, but as they approached the blue mass of flesh, they each puked, and puking underwater is worse than being switched to death. When they emerged, they retreated and told their friends, and their friends told their friends about underwater puking. And as the legends goes, no one in town ever double-dog dared anyone ever again.